posted 10-24-2000 12:56 PM            

20 Fun Things To Do on the First Day of Class (or ANY day, for that matter)

1. As the professor calls roll, after each name scream, "THAT'S MEEEEEEEEE! Oh, no...sorry."

2. Bring a "seeing-eye rooster" to class.

3. Tell the class you ae Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.

4. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"

5. Hold up a piece of paper that says, in large letters, "CHECK YOUR FLY."

6. Page through the textbook. Scratch and sniff each picture.

7. In a large lecture hall, encourage your fellow students to start a "wave."

8. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream, "AAAGH! MY EYES!"

9. Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you. Ask for one extra copy of each handout.

10. Wear earmuffs. Ask the professor to speak louder.

11. Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.

12. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.

13. Watch the professor through binoculars.

14. Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.

15. Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"

16. Take a shet of notebook paper, write SIGNUP SHEET #5 at the top and start passing it around the room.

17. Sit in the front. Sniff suspiciously. Ask the professor if he's been drinking.

18. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you la...

On second thought...maybe these aren't all that funny.

Nevermind.