posted 11-05-2001 10:07 PM            

Like I would waste three to four hours of my life seeing a bunch of actors (those who were full of wind and there) give themselves handjobs in the form of cheap statues. If you really want to know what is going on, follow these easy rules:

--The West Wing won an Emmy in something.

--Same goes for Malcolm in the Middle and the Sopranos

--The host made some joke about security.

--Some washed-up hasbeen used the deaths of 5,000 people as a rug to 'come back,' which means another chance to repeat sales on her last album by fans who only buy it because they think it's her last as opposed to what is on it (you hearing, Streisand?).

There. Now why don't you spend the rest of that time I just saved you watching Adult Swim?