posted 06-21-2001 03:10 PM            

quote:

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The producer of the Big Brother reality series is apparently planning to spice up the show in an effort to
attract the sizable audiences that the series routinely attracts in its overseas incarnations. Arnold Shapiro told
today's (Thursday) New York Daily News that he has handpicked contestants who are uninhibited, outgoing
and diverse. "Let's put it this way," he said. "There's a swimming pool at the house, and I have a feeling
that some members of this cast will possibly interpret the pool rules as swimwear-optional."

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Hey, everybody! Welcome back to Reality TV (well, if reality was a bunch of horndog underfed wastlings with annoying voices, 'attitude,' and questionable talent) where everything goes!

You know all those complaints from religious groups about the swearing and sex on TV despite their ongoing holy wars with foreign people?? WELL, SCREW THEM!! That's right! This season, on Big Brother 2, we'll give you what you overweight tasteless euuchs want: MORE SEX!!

That's right! Every time you turn in, you stand a chance of watching a living piece of eye candy (personality optional) bare her tits, his dick, or a BUTT SHOT!! That's right! Why bother talking to your girlfriend or spouse or going out to meet people! Just yank out your nasty and play with yourself as you can watch HINTED NUDITY!!

Come on! We might have to censor it, but for American audiences only we will increase the resolution rate so you can SORTA SEE genitals! COME ON!! Avoid HBO and real nudity for a chance to see BOOBIES, BOOBIES, BOOBIES!!

And why are we doing this? IT'S CHEAP, YOU FUCKING MORONS!! Hell, we would kill our own grandparents Nazi-style if the production values were as cheap as letting extremely stupid people dance about in front of our cameras like the jacknapes that they are!! Why produce lame sitcoms with bad jokes when reality is exactly the same, only cheaper?? Oh, hell, like you can tell the difference!! We all know that the American Public is many things (loud, annoying), but smart ain't one of them!!

So, enjoy the Roman like fascade!! Become the Nazis you pretend you aren't! Enjoy the suffering of people then bleat about how free you really are, and do it all while enjoying the raping of American freedom and pride! Come on, you won't miss it, you've got NBC!!

ENJOY!!

posted 06-24-2001 11:20 PM            

So whenever you see her now, it's all CGI. She's really half a head and some fingers buried in a shallow grave in the center of Rockefeller Center.