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Author
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Topic: Shelled Peanuts: The Unseen Charlie Brown.
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Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 04-03-2001 04:32 PM
   
Right after Charles Schulz, the creator of Peanuts, was buried many of his lawyers and family members delved into his vaults in order to sort his work. Fortunately, a giant vault was found underneath his work room which housed many unseen and until now, unheard of, animated Peanuts features.Sadly, most of these were in the vein of "Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown": Boring, stupid, and not funny even to the hardest-assed Christian scientist. More of these films showed Schulz's bad side, a hellish split-personality that is horrifying to the extent to madness. Before Turner or USA Networks could get their grubby paws on them, we here at WZBU got to them first and now, after a bit of digital remastering, will now showcase the other Peanuts classics. Unfortunately, due to new labor laws in Korea, we only have the first two at the time. They are: SEE YOU IN HELL, CHARLIE BROWN (1998)--In the most recent-made cartoon, Charlie Brown finally snaps after Lucy pulls the ball out from underneath him, losing the Big Game. In retribution, Charlie shoots up the school with a M-60, killing his nonsensical teacher and holding his class hostage. As Linus tries to reason with the mad bald fictional character, Lucy plots against him. In the end, Linus is fatally wounded, Lucy is splattered by multple fatal gunshots, and Charlie is shipped away to be charged as an adult..the first seven-year-old in his state to be done so. I BEZ CAPPIN YO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN (1995)--In a vain attempt to be cool, Charlie Brown takes on the identity of 'White Confection Stringbean,' the newest white rappper to hit the streets. But soon after he makes a reputation with the school, he is suspended by his overly paranoid WASP school and shipped off to a ghetto high school where his new identity makes him the enemy of the Mad Dawgz, who violently beat him and throw his lame ass back in the good side of town. 
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Rockjock
Monkey
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posted 04-04-2001 07:50 PM
Charlie Brown was only seven? He must have been a pretty accelerated kid to pull all this crap off. I blame the lack of parental supervision, or at least the fact that they all talked in that "wahhh-wahhh" voice. I would snap too!------------------
If you like Pez, does that make you a Pezophile? |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 04-04-2001 10:16 PM
Hey, to any overly-paranoid yuppie American parent, all kids are suspect until lobotimzed or with a knocked up girlfriend and working at a shitty job until they die. |
Rockjock
Monkey
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posted 04-05-2001 10:15 AM
They only want for their kids what they had. |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 04-06-2001 04:19 PM
GET AN EDUCATION, CHARLIE BROWN (1993)--In the only episode directed, written, and preached by Bill Cosby, Charlie Brown applies for the University of Michigan Law School and is turned down because he's white and not 'ethnic' enough. Enbittered, he takes his case to the Supreme Court. But, as a result, he is tortured by uber-liberals and the Nalk Xulk Uk who are determined not to give him a fair shake. The episode ends with Charlie Brown finding out that the only way to freedom is steal from Peter to pay Paul and that education doesn't really solve anything but is just a way to get more money.
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