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Author
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Topic: Subway--Below the Belt.
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Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-06-2000 12:00 AM
   
Anyone else sick and tired of watching the Subway "Jared" commercials?  For those who aren't familiar, the commercials in question are about 'Jared,' a young man who has lost weight thanks to Subway's remarkable subs!! Of course, they only gloss over the fact that: 1) Jared has a different face shape that cannot be explained by weight loss alone, 2) Subway often crams their subs with cheese and other fat inducing materials. But never mind that! Because in their latest commercial, we can actually see how this has affected 'Jared's' life! Of course, this is accomplished by having two paid extras saying the following: "You're looking buff, Jared!"
"Way to go, Jared!" Thus inspiring various stupid watchers to utter "Gee, no more Arby's for me! I'm gonna eat at Subways forever! Fuck this walking diet and Phen-Fen!!" And gorge themselves on a Italian sub with FIVE SIDES of the nation's best swiss. Of course, this commercial is a lie, since they never show what would happen: quote:
After Jared gets to the beach and the paid extras go off to try to get parts in porn films, Jared takes off his shirt for swimming. However, the weight loss he has suffered has not taken away all the excess skin he has gathered. People shriek as a slight breeze causes Jared's stomach to flap up with enough force to smack him unconsious, knocking him to the ground and covering his body with his fleshy, tarp-like belly.
So there!! Take that, shame-based advertising!!
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Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-06-2000 02:29 AM
hehehe...makes me wish I had seen this "Info-mercial"! The health benefits of Subway, hey? Next they will be making a documentary on "KFC - Culling Chickens for Poultry Pleasure, not Paltry Profit."  You guys get all the fun commercials...not fair! [This message has been edited by Lotus666 (edited 08-06-2000).] |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-06-2000 07:24 PM
Lotus,Well, you get the newd stuff over in Aussie-Land. Lucky Roolander.
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PixieChic
Monkey
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posted 08-07-2000 12:22 AM
Not to mention that he gained about 50 pounds since the last commercial, and his pasty white skin is blinding..."Way to go Jared..." |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-07-2000 12:32 AM
Exactly!! If that guy is the fat kid we saw in the commercial, he must have had some skin tucks as well, PLUS the fact that they look completely different.Geez, I can't believe a food chain would drop so low. Well, I can, I just can't believe they would keep pushing it. Oh, well... |
SLACKER
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-16-2000 02:07 AM
I am a subway addict!and damned proud ------------------
I sentence you to kiss my ass... |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-16-2000 10:13 AM
Slacker,You also live in Texas. Which means you have to eat meat. Well, it does! |
SLACKER
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-18-2000 12:42 AM
that and tote a gun, but what does that have to do with anything!! |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-18-2000 01:44 AM
It means you're supposed to drive a truck, have a girlfriend with a chest size above a C, and wear leather.
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SLACKER
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-18-2000 06:20 PM
well i do sport osme of those qualities i guess.but no leather for me!! |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-18-2000 07:07 PM
Okay, but you need a denim jacket then. |
SLACKER
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-19-2000 12:47 AM
demin is so 1983, i amore the 1985 type! |
FatJohnny
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-19-2000 07:04 AM
Yup, he just loves 'em. |
Gypsy
Monkey
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posted 08-20-2000 08:53 AM
I ate at subways once when they first started popping up here in rooland , made me quite ill , maybe thats the secret
definately affected below the belt 
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[i]Gypsy...I'm a wanderer, yea, a wanderer...my hands roam around & round & round & round!!![This message has been edited by Gypsy (edited 08-20-2000).] |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-20-2000 11:37 AM
Gypsy,That's weird!!!! Maybe it's their fresh veggies that use FIT!! *gasp*
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SLACKER
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-22-2000 12:54 AM
i had subway for lunch, much est good. |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 08-22-2000 01:33 AM
Slacker,But did it have veggies on it????
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For Whom the Bell Tolls
Monkey
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posted 10-07-2000 10:53 PM
I don't eat at Subway cos basically we have diverging opinions concerning "food".For instance, for me "chicken" means juicy meat taken from a creature called a "chicken", whilst for the Subway people, "chicken" are three transparent round slices of something with no taste put together by one of Andy Wharol's living disciples.
Food opinions.Anyone for a Mac? |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 10-08-2000 09:44 AM
Sorry, I prefer the unstable and more widely used PC. |
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Monkey
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posted 10-08-2000 10:22 AM
Easy on the "PC"; you might end up signing for the "People against Birth Of A Nation" movement and create an alter-ego the size of a... something big (it's those fumes, dude)
[This message has been edited by For Whom the Bell Tolls (edited 10-08-2000).] |
Lord Destroyer
Monkey
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posted 10-09-2000 09:43 AM
Someone at work recently told me how I look like Jared from those commercials.Geez, do I feel dirty.  |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 10-09-2000 01:49 PM
LD,They did? TO YOUR FACE? Man, that deserve a nice whack with a ballpeen hammer. Right to the back of their fucking skull!!!  Take it to the street, man. That kind of talk needs a good beating in reply.
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For Whom the Bell Tolls
Monkey
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posted 11-05-2000 11:16 PM
I'm guessing that Jared must be a pretty ugly fellow
[This message has been edited by For Whom the Bell Tolls (edited 11-05-2000).] |
Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 11-06-2000 08:25 AM
Well, not if you're a one-legged Austrian tap dancer by the name of Rodrigo. |
Colonel Jupiter
Monkey
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posted 11-07-2000 12:55 AM
My best friends name is Roderigo. |
Colonel Jupiter
Monkey
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posted 11-08-2000 01:25 AM
Jeepers creepers, I'm kidding. |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 11-08-2000 04:55 PM
hehehe...not what I heard, CJ!
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Nick Zbu
ZooKeeper
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posted 11-08-2000 10:50 PM
Is CJ lying? Find out next time in AUSSIES IN LOVE! |
Pez
Monkey
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posted 11-09-2000 11:22 PM
is surprised this thread is still alive....quietly checks the I.V |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 11-09-2000 11:32 PM
*Exchanges the normal IV Fluid for a bottle of Worcestershire Sauce!* [This message has been edited by Lotus666 (edited 11-09-2000).] |
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