posted 02-01-2002 01:12 PM            

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WZBU sends 'Aussies in Love' to TV graveyard; most viewers confused about confusing post.

By Death Aardvark 17

To the dismay of tens of thousands of people, highly-rated cable station WZBU has finally put an end to one of its flagship series, 'Aussies in Love.'

"I think it was time to end it," co-founder Nick Zbu said at a press conference early Friday morning, "while I still think it had a few more years on the air, the simple truth was that it was lacking Aussies--aside from Lotus and Gypsy--and that nobody knew that it was on."

AIL....or Ozzie in LUV! as it's known Down Under, was one of the cult hits that propelled WZBU from a small-time TV station somewhere in the vicinity of Ann Arbor, MI, into a silencer version of Ted Turner's Atlanta conglomerate. With their added funding and actual FCC approval to broadcast, the network soared with such programs as 'Wail on the Bitch,' 'The Time-Travelling Hot Dog,' and the critically acclaimed 'Gortney and the Death Metal Hobos' which beat out a rerun of 'Friends' and 'Seinfeld' on some other channel. And despite gaining the TV rights to the first 'Nigel Liechenstein' movie, 'AIL' lost all of its audience lead-in, dooming the show.

"It's just not funny anymore," Exile-11, co-moderator of the Lotus Position remarked at his estate in Western Australia, "I mean, at the beginning it was pure genius. Who couldn't identify with the Grant/Katya love affair? Sure, it dipped when we found out that Tostito and Grant were the same person ala 'Fight Club,' but it was always interesting until they took the freaking Aussies out. I mean, if I want to see some goofy Americans bang nasties, I'll just inhale some paint thinner and watch 'Just Shoot Me,' thank you very much."

In 2000, the show was ridden when most of the Aussies involved either quit out of disgust and vanished due to extensive storylines. But it was when the Rockjock/Iridium/Pez love triangle aired that viewership waned.

"What relationship?" Swizzle Dick, producer of the show and Swizdik Productions, said at a noon press conference. "There was nothing there! All they did was stand in the same room and talked about Lexx all fucking day! It wasn't a relationship as it was just a way to spend an episode while we wondered how Lotus was going to free herself in enough time to make the 'Timeturntwisting' premiere!"

Despite jumps in viewership that was due to the show being preempted for 'Naked Olive Oil Volleyball Tryouts,' the show stopped main production on November 21st as the station and the producers decided to finish all the storylines. The final episode will air March 29th, 2003, in a very special five-hour long episode which is rumored the mysterious Jonny Rocket will reappear.

"I'm oddly excited about it," Zbu remarked, "despite its departure the ending has a lot of interesting twists to it but has a closure I'm sure everyone will enjoy. But if it has to go, I'm glad it will be watched and enjoyed. P.S.--the rumors of an Emmerdale like ending featuring a plane crash are just rumors."

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