posted 04-03-2001 02:27 AM         

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Resistance is...and always has...been FUTILE!

posted 04-03-2001 08:50 PM            

Of course, one could also make her bark on command, but I'm no misogynist.

posted 04-04-2001 12:50 AM            

You know, Barbie in her later years, that career's over now. They live in that Barbie mobile home...the dream trailer.

That Corvette's up on blocks in the front yard. Ken's got a big old gut now. He sits around scratching himself, "What's for dinner, Barbie?!" *BUUURRRP!*

Or maybe Divorce Barbie? She comes with half of Ken's stuff.

posted 04-04-2001 09:39 AM            

And I fooled around a bit with Leprosy Barbie - after I made both arms and one leg drop off, I suddenly yelled, "What are you going to do, bleed on me?!"

posted 04-06-2001 04:11 AM         

Millionaire's Mistress Barbie
Teen Acne Barbie
Gangsta Bitch Barbie
Unwed Mother Barbie
Grunge Star Barbie
Breast Implant Barbie
Bi Barbie
Senior Citizen Talking Barbie (says, "I've fallen and I can't get up!")
Mujahadeen Barbie
Bible Belt Barbie
Trophy Wife Barbie
Body Piercing Barbie
Welfare Mother Barbie (comes with food stamps)
Anorexic Barbie
Mother Superior Barbie
Trailer Park Barbie
Illegal Alien Barbie
Vivisectionist Barbie
Boutros Boutros Barbie
Streetwalker Barbie
Klaus Barbie
PMS Barbie
Vegas Showgirl Barbie
Bag Lady Barbie
Bikini Wax Barbie
Bungee Jumpin' Barbie
Shrunken Head Barbie
Citadel Cadet Barbie
Rambo Barbie
Generation X Barbie
Satanic Barbie
Transsexual Barbie
Tattooed Barbie
Bearded Lady Barbie
Teen Driver Barbie
Narcoleptic Barbie
Hangover Barbie
Disgruntled Postal Employee Barbie
Toll Collector Barbie
Mrs. Santa Claus Barbie
Prison Matron Barbie
Body Building Barbie
Crop Circle Barbie
Hockey Playin' Barbie
Polka Time Barbie
Skin Cancer Barbie
Belly Dancer Barbie
Exorcism Barbie
Manic-Depressive Barbie
Ebola Barbie (Hot Zone sold separately.)
Multiple Personality Barbie (Additional personalities sold separately.)
Barbie Scissorhands
Homicidally Insane Sysadmin Barbie
Harley Biker Babe Barbie
BiPolar Barbie
Divorcee Barbie (Comes with Ken's accessories)
Couch Potato Barbie (Barbie's ass flattens when you sit her down)
Radioactive Barbie
Alien Abduction Barbie
Persistent Vegetative Barbie
Registered Sex Offender Barbie
Phone Sex Barbie
Ex-Con Barbie
Liposuction Barbie
Bad Hair Day Barbie
Chain Gang Barbie
Porn Queen Barbie
Urban Assault Barbie
Cellulite Barbie
Safe Sex Barbie
Soul Train Barbie
Hollywood Boulevard Barbie
Hare Krishna Barbie
Third Nipple Barbie
Homicidal Rampage Barbie
Lounge Lizard Barbie
Mafia Barbie
Peg-legged Barbie
Tobacco Chewin' Barbie
Death Row Barbie
Traction Barbie
Lobotomy Patient Barbie
Drunken Driver Barbie
Pill-poppin' Barbie
Plastic Surgery Patient Barbie
Unabomber Barbie
Lord of the Flies Barbie
Manson Family Barbie
Neandertal Barbie
Head Trauma Barbie
Accident Prone Barbie
Lotto Lovin' Barbie
Alien-coming-out-of-stomach Barbie
French Whore Barbie
Achy Breaky Barbie
Wrestlemania Barbie
Branch Davidian Barbie
War Amputee Barbie
Mosh-Pit Barbie
Flayed Barbie
Angry Mattel Lawyer Barbie
Packwood Aide Barbie
Kama Sutra Barbie
Lap Dancin' Barbie
Real Estate Seminar Barbie
Witness Protection Program Barbie
Not Shavin' My Pits Barbie
Shooting Accident Barbie
Slave to the Patriarchy Barbie
Feral Barbie
Bingo Barbie
Pyromaniac Barbie
Barfly Barbie
Playboy Bunny Barbie
Sumo Barbie
Sorority Sister Barbie
Spontaneous Combustion Barbie
Bad Trip Barbie
Headbanger Barbie
Mallrat Barbie
Cat Burglar Barbie
700 Club Barbie
Near Death Experience Barbie
Psychosexual Dysfunction Barbie
Bingo Barbie
TV Talk Show Circuit Barbie
Vengeful Figure Skater Barbie
East European Olympian Barbie
Salem Witch Barbie
God Barbie
Roadkill Barbie
Riot Cop Barbie
Shoplifter Barbie (Comes with stuff from other playsets.)
Kickboxer Barbie
NATO Peacekeeper Hostage Barbie
Chain Smokin' Barbie
Flammable Barbie
Siamese Twin Barbies
Chernobyl Barbie
Overbite Barbie
Carnival Worker Barbie
Let's Play With Matches Barbie
Ax-Murderer Barbie
Will Work For Food Barbie
Third World Dictator's Wife Barbie
Low Rider Barbie
Goth Barbie
Psychic Hotline Barbie
Full Body Cast Barbie
Hyperallergenic Barbie
Snake-Handlin' Barbie
Iron Lung Barbie
Elephant Poacher Barbie
Hollywood Squares Has-Been Barbie
Rasta Barbie
Obsessive-Compulsive Barbie
Lactose Intolerant Barbie
Trust Fund Bohemian Barbie
Inbred Barbie
Donner Party Barbie
Scratchcard Scrubber from Blackburn Barbie
Faded Movie Queen Barbie
Anti-Christ Barbie
Flashback Barbie
Existentialist Barbie
Drive-By Barbie
Toxic Waste Barbie
Zombie Barbie
Dumpster Divin' Barbie
Stepford Barbie
Merry Widow Barbie
American Gladiator Barbie
Glue-Sniffin' Barbie
Drug Kingpin Barbie
Mr. Potato Head Barbie
Actuary Barbie
Chain-smokin' Barbie
Deal-A-Meal Barbie
Shell-shocked Barbie
Third Reich Barbie
Foamin' at the Mouth Barbie
Pagan Barbie
IRA Barbie
Smurf Barbie
Homeless Barbie with Malibu Shopping Cart
Sacrifical Virgin Barbie
Restraining Order Barbie
Show-us-your-plastic-bumps Mardi Gras Barbie
Militant Feminazi Barbie
Hasidic Barbie
White Slave Barbie
Undertaker Barbie
Crying Game Barbie
Corporate Raider Barbie
Mink Farmer Barbie
NRA Barbie
Frostbite Barbie
Comfort Woman Barbie
Jewish Princess Barbie
Thrasher Barbie
Creative Accountant Barbie
Born-Again Barbie
Eurotrash Barbie
Tree-Hugger Barbie
Tax Evader Barbie
Football Hooligan Barbie
Mile High Club Barbie
Dumped at the Altar Barbie
Chia Pet Barbie
Flesh-Eating Bacteria Barbie
Klingon Barbie
Document Shredding Barbie
IFOR Barbie
Twelve-Step Barbie
Auto-repair Barbie
Turkish Prison Barbie
Assisted Suicide Barbie
Teamster Barbie
Amway Barbie
Teen Angst Barbie
Coffee Burn Barbie
Pope Barbie
Buchanan Campaign Manager Barbie
Boxing Helena Barbie
Sheep Shaggin' Barbie
Gastric Reflux Barbie
Amateur Porn Video Barbie
I.M.F. Austerity Program Barbie
Ninja Barbie
Shiksa Barbie
Graveyard Barbie
Elephant Man Barbie
Surrogate Mother Barbie
Missing Link Barbie
Hot Chat Barbie
Hog-Callin' Barbie
Repressed Memories Barbie
Black Panther Barbie
Lone Gunman Barbie
Migrant Worker Barbie
Televangelist Barbie
Dolla Make You Holla Barbie
Mururoa Barbie
Lego Fun Barbie
Jello Wrestling Queen Barbie
GI Joe Lovin' Barbie
Internal Revenue Service Barbie
Taken by a Dingo Barbie
Bataan Death March Barbie
Kleptomaniac Barbie
Conjugal Visit Barbie
Salem Witch Trial Barbie
Babushka Barbie
Waffle House Barbie
Street Mime Barbie
Attention Deficit Disorder Barbie
Office Goddess Barbie
Mexican President Barbie
Tax Dodging Barbie
Infomercial Queen Barbie
Self-Destructive Barbie
Drunken Oil Tanker Pilot Barbie
Tree-Spikin' Barbie
Bad Credit Barbie
Excommunicated Shriner Barbie
America's Most Wanted Barbie
Banjo Pluckin' Inbred Barbie
Ticking Biological Clock Barbie
Berserker Barbie
Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling Barbie
Brechtian Barbie
Tractor Pull Barbie
Mad Cow Barbie
Scratch 'n Sniff Barbie
Black-Lung Barbie
Dioxin Barbie
Idiot Savant Barbie
Pentium Bug Barbie
Hanoi Hannah Barbie
Baldheaded Fitness Guru Barbie
Internet Censorship Barbie
Special Prosecutor Barbie
Sovereign Citizen Barbie
Clarion Graduate Barbie
The Incredible Shrinking Barbie
Getting Medieval Barbie
Animal Lovin' PETA Barbie
Barbie the Vampire Slayer
Water Retention Barbie
Bhopal Barbie
Channeling Barbie
Coal Miner's Daughter Barbie
Electrolysis Barbie
Violently Loyal Argentinian Soccer Fan Barbie
Frigid Barbie
Hotel Tyrant Barbie
Hezbollah Barbie
Bail Bond Barbie
Band Geek Barbie
Lunch Lady Barbie
Chiquita Banana Barbie
Freeman Barbie
Dancing Queen Barbie
Electoshock Therapy Barbie
Pez Dispenser Barbie
High School Gym Teacher Barbie
Militant Lesbian Barbie
Compulsive Eater Barbie
Shining Path Barbie
Casting Couch Barbie
Unabomber's Girlfriend Barbie
Grey Panther Barbie
Trekkie-Con Prostitute Barbie
Jehovah's Witness Barbie
Area 51 Barbie
Reduced Instruction Set Barbie
Gold-Bond Medicated Barbie
Blaxploitation Barbie
Microsoft Hating Barbie
Bulimic Barbie
Assisted Suicide Barbie
Doin' a Nickel in Attica Barbie
Valujet Stewardess Barbie
Black Helicopter Pilot Barbe
Tomahawk Chop Workout Barbie
Riot Grrrrl Barbie
Wandering Eye Barbie
Tub Fart Barbie
Haunted FBI Agent Barbie
Cyber Zombie Barbie
Barbies Who Run With Wolves
David Letterman Love Slave Barbie
Wal-Mart Greeter Barbie
Sunset Boulevard Barbie
Topless Royal Toesucker Barbie
Compulsive Shoplifter Barbie
Skank Barbie
Change of Life Barbie
Hunchback of Notre Barbie
Gumby Barbie
Mooning Nun Barbie
Federal Witness Protection Program Barbie
Domestic Goddess Barbie
Barbie Trapped in Ken's Body
Cubist Barbie
Thresher Accident Barbie
Phen-fen Barbie
National Geographic Barbie
Bosnian War Criminal Barbie
Arkansas Motel Room Barbie
Tot-Drowning Barbie
Crash Test Barbie
Troubled Has-Been Actress Found Wandering Around Barbie
Ringo Stalkin' Barbie
Cheeky Orphan Barbie
Chinese Swimmer Barbie
Central American Fashion House Sweatshop Worker Barbie
Human Genome Project Barbie
Tragic Olympic Athlete Barbie
Beach-Blanket-Babylon Barbie
Snuff Film Barbie
Mrs. Benedict Arnold Barbie
Earwax Problem Barbie
Did You Ever Feel Not-So-Fresh Barbie
Just-Starting-to-Discover-Her-Own-Body Girl Scout Barbie
Vorpal Barbie
Confused AOL Member Barbie
Biosphere Barbie
Ft. Marcy Park Suicide Barbie
Constipated White Republican Barbie
Ross Perot Campaign Worker Barbie
I Spit On Your Grave Barbie
Rohypnol Barbie
Divorced Princess Barbie
Parasitic Olympic Commentator Barbie
Evil Geneticist Barbie
Amoeba Barbie
Barbie32 (for Win 95)
Scary Clown Barbie
$200-an-hour Barbie
Furry Fan Barbie with Fursuit
Scientologist Barbie
Evil Levitating Barbie
Sea Monkey Barbie
Vegisexual Barbie
Frog Lickin' Barbie
Remotely Piloted Drone Barbie
Chupacabra Barbie
Lee Barbie Oswald
Santeria Oshun Bikinia Barbie
Former Child Star Barbie

---------------------------------------------

Barbie And Friends Items...
Ken's Bathhouse
Ken Pimpin' Fun Outfit
Wino Ken
Transvestite Ken
Hyperactive Skipper
The Bad Seed Skipper
Car Jacking Ken
Deadbeat Dad Ken
Burn Victim Skipper
Suicidal Bomber Ken
Barbie-Stalkin' Ken
Angry White Ken
Chemical Waste Dump Skipper
Gulf War Syndrome Ken
Rhino-Gored Safari Skipper
Pituitary Malfunction Skipper
Pervert Phone Breather Ken
Wacked Out Vietnam Vet Ken
Repressed Memories Skipper
Village of the Damned Skipper
Untalented Stand-up Comic Ken
Calvin Klein Advertisement Ken
Nocturnal Emission Ken
Internet Kiddie Porn Ken
Schizophrenic Artist Ken
Disco Queen Ken
Polyester Leisure Suit Ken
Schoolyard Bully Skipper
Voodoo Ken
Sacrificial Virgin Skipper
Alcoholic Clown Ken
Plumber's Crack Ken
Autoerotic Asphyxiation Ken
Ken's Body-Piercing Shop
Yiddish Ken
Rain Man Ken
Prison Bitch Ken
Skipper's Psychic Friends Network
Sniper Skipper
Million Man March Ken
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Ken
Baby Seal Clubbing Ken
Ayatollah Ken
Priapsism Ken
Bubble Boy Ken
Elvis Impersonator Ken
Nazi Doctor Ken
Gulf War Syndrome Ken
Drumming Warrior Ken
Kastrated Konvict Ken
Hair Club for Ken
Double X Chromosone Ken
Texas Cheerleader Skipper
Trigger Happy Farmer Ken
Shower Scene Ken
Elvis Love Child Skipper
Dianetics Ken
Seven Year Old Pilot Skipper
Coolio Ken
Milk Carton Skipper
Trigger Happy ATF Agent Ken
Ken's Pedoerotic Thai Holiday Funship
Don't Need Directions Ken
47 Chromosome Skipper
Frankenstein's Monster Ken
Trainspotter Ken
Convenience Store Ken
Talk Soup Replacement Host Ken
Scared Straight Skipper
Barbara Streisand Impersonator Ken
Sans Cajones Ken
Aztec Priest Ken
High-Water Pants Ken
Olympic Pipe Bomb Ken
Ken's Cock-Fighting Pit Playset
Clock Tower Shootist Ken
Slumlord Ken
Shave-My-Back Ken
Foreign Leader with Heart Condition Ken

---------------------------------------------

Barbie Accessories...

Barbie's Crack House
Barbie's Fast Food Workplace
Barbie's Murder Scene
Barbie's Juvenile Detention Center
Barbie's Boating Accident
Barbie's Chappaquiddick Set
Barbie's Scoffing Help Desk
Barbie's Grassy Knoll
Barbie Home Pregnancy Test
Barbie's Gas Chamber
Barbie's Illegal Sweatshop
Barbie's House of Ill Repute
Barbie's Fun-Time Survivalist Bomb Shelter
Barbie's Challenger Disaster Playset
Barbie's Jonestown Playset
Barbie's Hindu Bed of Hot Coals
Barbie's Broken-Down Chevy Nova
Barbie Chicken Processing Plant
Barbie's O.J. Simpson Accessory Kit
Barbie Bodybag
Barbie's Hydroponics Set
Barbie's Methamphetamine Lab
Barbie's SCUD Missile Factory
Barbie's Woolworth's Lunch Counter
Barbie's Telemarketing Boiler Room
Barbie's Assisted Suicide Van
Barbie & Ken's Skippin' Town Playset
Barbie's Christian Identity Cattle Ranch
Barbie's Michigan Fertilizer Farm Playset
Barbie's Sensory Deprivation Tank
Barbie's Mitsubishi Hallway Playset
Barbie's Puppy Mill Farm
Barbie's Disneyland Underground Surveillance Center
Barbie's Face on Mars
Barbie vs. Predator Playset
Barbie's Life on Mars Playset
Barbie's Marie Celeste Playship
Barbie's Talking Tapeworm

posted 04-06-2001 04:29 AM            

Does feces-throwing and communicating through sign language follow?

...and yes, I'm pretty bored here. Its kinda late, I've got work to do, so I'm amusing myself by being active on this board. It helps pass (waste) the time.

posted 04-07-2001 12:46 PM            

I actually had these ones.
Great list Lotus, even if I could only be bothered to scan through it.