posted 02-02-2000 06:51 PM            

~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed one evening, and he asks, "Honey, do you want to have sex tonight?" "No," she replies. "Is that your final answer?" "Yes, that's my final answer!" she insists.
The husband thinks carefully for a moment, then asks, "May I phone a friend?"
~~~~~~~~~~
LOL, at least he didn't ask "May I poll the audience!"

Anyway, am I the only one addicted to this show? Am I the only one that yells out the answers to the TV and calls the contestants idiots while planning *my* invincible appearence on the show?
Am I the only one that walks around exclaiming IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSA??!??! everywhere I go?

I hope not! Let me hear from you!

jen

posted 02-16-2000 06:28 AM         

(With THAT decidedly ambiguous statement...leaves you to decide if that is agreement on the erotic nature of the hot seat, or whether it is agreement on if it is JUST YOU!)

------------------
Lotus666...Beware of Cupid's Love-Tipped Dart...He aims it for your wary heart...So play it safe, my lonely chum...Turn around and SHOW HIM YOUR BUM!!!

posted 02-16-2000 10:06 AM            

siriuosly - this are my working hours and i'm so borred that i'm eating my toe nails.
so please, you don't know me yet, but i'm desperate for your help - a joke, a comment,
a short anacdote, ANYTHING AT ALL!@$#!!!

you'l be saving my life, and when you die you'l go straight to heaven

posted 02-16-2000 10:27 AM            

As fer a joke, hmmmmmm....

Q: What do you get when you cross an impressionist painter and a New York cab driver?

A: Vincent Van Go Fuck Yourself.

HA!

posted 02-17-2000 02:56 AM            

On the subject of parrots.....

A guy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a
bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those
that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. The guy tried hard to
change the bird's attitude and was constantly
saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try
and set a good example.

Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook
the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, the guy put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream. Then
suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. The guy was
frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto his extended arm and said, "I believe I
may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavour at
once to correct my behaviour. I really am truly sorry and beg your
forgiveness."

He was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what
had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did wrong?"

posted 02-17-2000 06:56 AM            

A woman owns a parrot named Paulette. Paulett is a great parrot, except she had the nast habit of yelling, "Wanna fuck?". This disturbed the owner so she asked her friends what she should do. One friend suggested that she should bring her parrot to meet her parrots Bob and Frank, who only sang hymns and said prayers. "Maybe they'll be a good influence on Paulette," she said.

So, Paulette was brought over to spend time with Frank and Bob. Frank began singing 'Amazing Grace', but was cut off when Paulette raucously began shouting, "Wanna fuck?". Then Bob began a prayer. "Hail Mary, full of grace...", but Bob was cut off by Paulette yelling, "Wanna fuck?"

At this point Bob looks at Frank and says, "Holy shit Frank, our prayers have been answered!"