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manic_224
ZooKeeper
posted 03-14-2002 08:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for manic_224   Click Here to Email manic_224     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Got this in a forward email today and it gave me a laugh...

20 THINGS WE'VE LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES

20. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

19. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit Level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

18. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

17. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

16. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.>

15. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

14. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.

13. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

10. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

9. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

8. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing> underwear.

7. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

4. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

3. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

2. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade at any time of the year.

How very true, huh? Personally, I've always wondered about number 11...

FatJohnny
ZooKeeper
posted 03-14-2002 09:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FatJohnny   Click Here to Email FatJohnny     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
I actively encourage number 8.

Tostito
ZooKeeper
posted 03-14-2002 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Tostito   Click Here to Email Tostito     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
"I will not turn into a snake. It never helps."

catapault007
Monkey
posted 03-14-2002 09:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for catapault007   Click Here to Email catapault007     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
What kind of movies do they show in Ireland?

manic_224
ZooKeeper
posted 03-14-2002 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for manic_224   Click Here to Email manic_224     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Films about farms. And potatoes.

SLACKER
ZooKeeper
posted 03-19-2002 01:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SLACKER   Click Here to Email SLACKER     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
are they mutant potatoes?

Tostito
ZooKeeper
posted 03-19-2002 01:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Tostito   Click Here to Email Tostito     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
That would be way too interesting for Ireland. But there's one movie called simply 'Potato' about a boy whose head looks like a potato and he has to collect coal from the street because he's humble. Not to be confused with the movie 'The Potato' whereby a guy named Seamus has to collect coal off the street because he's not too proud. My favourite Irish movie would have to be 'Not without my potato' in which 7 IRA members decide they've seen enough killing, trade in their guns for shovels, and start a coal delivery service for poor people in return for potato dinners.

catapault007
Monkey
posted 03-19-2002 02:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for catapault007   Click Here to Email catapault007     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Joke

Q: What do you call 2 GAY Irish guys?

A: Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick

------------------
Play like a superstar
Party like a rock star
Hammer like a porn star

[This message has been edited by catapault007 (edited 03-19-2002).]

Ceramic Weasel
Monkey
posted 03-19-2002 06:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceramic Weasel     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Everyone knows that if more than one bad guy attacks a good guy at the same time, they will inadvertantly become either a human sheild, or end up being thrown at their comrad. It's the rules. Therefore, by taking on the good guy one at a time, they're all playing it smart.

------------------
Pop! Goes the weasel.

Hello Newman 2001
Monkey
posted 03-19-2002 07:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hello Newman 2001   Click Here to Email Hello Newman 2001     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
A film about mutant potatoes would be great. They could get George Clooney to star in it and he could spend much of his career laughing about how bad it is in an attempt to ward off the festering inner demons that eat away at his soul because he knows no-one will ever forget it.

Or something.

manic_224
ZooKeeper
posted 03-19-2002 11:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for manic_224   Click Here to Email manic_224     Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Tostito, you're thinking of 'Angela's Potato'.

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