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ATO2J: The Search For Rocket

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Author	Topic: ATO2J: The Search For Rocket
FatJohnny ZooKeeper	posted 01-22-2002 08:36 AM Last time we left our heroes, Jonny and Johnny had barely survied an eat attack at the hands of Mindy Cohn. After this harrowing experience, Jonny decided it was time for a soul-searching journey... Jonny: "I don't know, man. I mean what's it all about? Putting ficticious characters on the chopping block is good fun and all, but when it results in this... Johnny? Johnny?" Johnny is closely examining his finger, which he has managed to get stuck in an empty beer bottle. Johnny: "Sorry. What were you saying?" Jonny: "Nothing. Look, I'm going to go away for a while." Johnny: "If you're going to the store, we need milk." Jonny: "No. Not to the store. I need to go find myself. I'm going on a spiritual journey!" Johnny: "So I'll have the forum to myself?" Jonny: "Yup." Johnny: "Woo Hoo!" Cue the music montage! What follows in the following months is a booze, drug and asparagus filled wild ride! Set to, oh, let's say, "Cretin Hop" by The Ramones. Suddenly, it's Three Months Later... We see the forum, thuroughly trashed. Rocket's Starland Vocal Band Poster is in shreds, and garbage is piled nearly waste high. Tostito is passed out on the couch in a puddle of what appears to be vomit. Fat Johnny enters from his bedroom. Johnny: "Tostito. Wake up, man." Tostito blinks his eyes, shakes his head and sits up, inspecting the puddle. Tostito: Funny, I don't remember eating all that corn. Johnny: I don't think it's yours. Tostito: Then whose is it? Johnny: Well, manic was kinda pissed at you when she left last night... Tostito: Oh, right. That would explain it. Suddenly there is a knock at the door. Johnny* answers it, and is greeted by a retarded.* Re-re: "HEDDO! WOOD U LIK TO REED MT FAN FICTION TODAY SIR?? Johnny: Um, no... Re-re: DON"T BE MEEANJ!!!1! A gunshot rings out, and the retarded drops to the floor, gurgling. Tostito* reholsters his gun.* Tostito: "That's what? Four this week? Not bad." Johnny: "You know, it wasn't always like this. Pizza boxes weren't always stacked waste high. Squrrrl didn't always hide under the sink. Newbie retards didn't always knock incessantly at the door! What we need is order! What we need is someone to smite those in need of smiting! What we need... is Rocket! We've got to find him! Tostito: "We? Sorry. I've got some action figures to hock on e-bay. Have fun though. Let me know if you find good ol' bowly." Tostito exits the forum, leaving Johnny alone to ponder the predicament Johnny: "Now If I was Jonny, where would I go for a spiritual journey? I know! The Pottery Barn!" To Be Continued. And stuff.
manic_224 ZooKeeper	posted 01-22-2002 02:06 PM Great story yet again, FatJohnny but why am I the angry corn-spewing co-moderator?
FatJohnny ZooKeeper	posted 01-22-2002 03:38 PM Someone had to be.
manic_224 ZooKeeper	posted 01-22-2002 03:58 PM Well, if you put it like that...
Britt ZooKeeper	posted 01-23-2002 12:06 AM I saw a retarded on the bus today. He screamed really loud. I don't know why.
Lotus666 ZooKeeper	posted 01-23-2002 05:03 AM Britt...how many times do I have to keep telling you...stop pinching the retards!? It makes them scream... Oh, by the way...cool story, FJ...where IS your esteemed colleague? Has Rocket gone in search of the elusive Gold Coffee Pot with neverending coffee? ??? [This message has been edited by Lotus666 (edited 01-23-2002).]
SLACKER ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 02:28 AM i think he is pulling a 'slacker' and is hiding out for awhile. dont worry he will be back
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 02:34 AM He had to trade it for his whip on the way out of the temple of Starbucks, and his arch rival child star Gary Coleman took it to the goosestepping bastards we all love to hate. That's right, the Backstreet Boys. He got it back later though, after fighting a giant sax playing beat poet and stowing away on A.J's moped. I think he saved Parker Posey from Arab fan boys at some point, too.
Case B Monkey	posted 01-24-2002 03:17 AM Damn it, who spiked Tostito's rum punch with "Zbu-rific" again?!? pretty soon, the transformation will be complete -> Will you kids ever learn?
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 03:22 AM I think there is a big difference between lame references to B movies and taking pride in knowing crap about celebrities no one cares about, and lame references to things that have to do with Rocket. I bid you good day sir, hmph.
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 10:00 AM
laz ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 10:11 AM Why has the thought 'too much time on his hands' just popped into my head?
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 10:16 AM Well I don't know what you do with your Friday mornings at 2am, but you can't deny that Gary Coleman picture just had to be used.
laz ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 10:32 AM If I deny it will he come and beat me up?
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 11:01 AM He would stop crying for the first time in the last ten years and thank you from the bottom of his heart for not mocking him like the rest of the schlubs.
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 11:06 AM And then beat you up.
laz ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 11:06 AM Consider me his biggest (and only) fan then.
laz ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 11:07 AM Oh, I've change my mind now.
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 11:07 AM Whatchoo talkin' bout laz
laz ZooKeeper	posted 01-24-2002 12:51 PM If I said I had no idea, would you give me a lolly?
Britt ZooKeeper	posted 01-25-2002 12:17 AM So is that a recent pic of Coleman?
FatJohnny ZooKeeper	posted 01-25-2002 06:01 AM Yup. It's a press pic from his new movie, "Coleman Unchained!"
catapault007 Monkey	posted 01-25-2002 09:11 AM Usually when I see the word Unchained in a movie title, I think of a women in prison flick. But, thanks to you adding Gary Coleman beside the word Unchained my fantasies have been destroyed forever. Damn you to hell.
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-25-2002 09:28 AM Well I'm happy, just as long as he doesn't link Gary Coleman to child pornography. Did I say that out loud?
Jonny Rocket KingPin of the Monkey Farm	posted 01-25-2002 10:43 AM Let's get back to the story, I want to know where I have been. [This message has been edited by Jonny Rocket (edited 01-25-2002).]
catapault007 Monkey	posted 01-25-2002 11:06 AM He Lives
Tostito ZooKeeper	posted 01-25-2002 11:08 AM I think you should wait for the end of the story before jumping to conclusions. Ain't you never seen reanimator.
Lotus666 ZooKeeper	posted 01-25-2002 05:12 PM ARGH...there's a ROCKET in the room...duck and cover...
FatJohnny ZooKeeper	posted 01-29-2002 06:33 AM quote: "I want to know where I have been" It's coming. Eventually.
Jonny Rocket KingPin of the Monkey Farm	posted 01-29-2002 03:04 PM It is true, I do want to know.
Lotus666 ZooKeeper	posted 01-30-2002 03:30 AM Been searching for Nirvana, Mr Rocket? (Welcome back by the way...we missed ya!)

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