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Author
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Topic: Obituaries for the almost dead.
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Jogger
Monkey
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posted 03-07-2001 05:11 AM
   
click for obituary |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 03-07-2001 05:13 AM
Can we start writing our own epitaphs then?  |
Jogger
Monkey
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posted 03-07-2001 05:51 AM
Jogger, 32 years of age, of Fort-Fun Va. Nearly disemboweled himself while trying to release a chili and cheese boritto and a side of hot wings fart. He can be viewed at the Taco Bell bathroom. Gas masks will be issued at the door. |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 03-07-2001 05:55 AM
 This is going to be an interesting thread...I can just see it! [This message has been edited by Lotus666 (edited 03-07-2001).] |
Britt
ZooKeeper
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posted 03-07-2001 06:29 PM
At a Halloween party I attended several years ago, the hostess had put up tombstones for everyone in attendance. Mine said "Shopped Til She Dropped, Best Dressed in Death." I still have it around here somewhere...it'll probably come in handy one of these days. |
Magpye
Monkey
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posted 03-08-2001 03:28 PM
MAGPYEI Told You I Was Ill |
TheKitty
Chimp with diapers
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posted 03-13-2001 01:45 AM
TheKittyLife 1: Lost during kittenhood, when I attempted to find out what really goes on in a dryer. Life 2: Lost chasing squirrels across a busy intersection...damn eighteen wheelers. Life 3: Lost on a midnight journey around the neighborhood. Didn't notice the Johnson's new pitbull until it was too late. Life 4: Damn kids trying to see if I would land on my feet....twelve floors down. Life 5: Chicken bone. How many times did the vet say not to feed me those??? Lives 6 and 7: Bruno...and Rover. Those dogs were tougher than they looked. Life 8: Too much sex in the back alleys. Life 9: O.D. on catnip. I meant to do it. I just couldn't take it anymore. Funeral will be held in the backyard. Just look for the lumpy trash bag and the big hole by the tree. ------------------
Lap it up...it's the best you'll ever get. |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 03-13-2001 03:25 AM
 Very well done, Kitty...yours? Or "borrowed"? Either way...top marks for posting it! |
Jogger
Monkey
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posted 03-13-2001 10:52 AM
Thanks for the laughKitty
Meeeeoooow |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 03-13-2001 05:00 PM
Lotus666 - Devil's Child and Hellcat Spawn of Satan...  1) Narrowly missed choking on her own LOL's whilst attempting to bitch boot an entire regiment of unruly Demon Imp Minions! (Gypsy, Mags, Bell, LD, RJ etc!) 2) Almost fatally stabbed in the butt when she had forgoten where she had put her pitchfork down, and sat on the prongs! 3) Nearly suffocated in a vat of dairy products whilst trying to set a world record for most Whipped Cream swallowed whilst attemtping a double back sommersault flip from a 10 metre diving board! 4) Took a near-fatal heart attack whilst being apprehended at Perth Airport by a cheeky sod called Exile (posing as a WA copper!) 5) Barely survived a savage QF drinking session with the very same Exile! (Whilst recovering from severe binging session in Scotland and Wales the previous month beforehand...liver still recuperating!) 6) Removed foot from mouth and avoided the deadly bovine/ovine Foot & Mouth Disease...after it following herself and Nightshade downthrough Guildford and Devon! Lotus666 is not survived by Munky and Toadfish...a horde of Demon Imp Minions...a legion of rabid "skwerls"...some person called Nightshade...and a score of Clan 666 cats of her acquaintance during her UK travels! [This message has been edited by Lotus666 (edited 03-13-2001).] |
TheKitty
Chimp with diapers
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posted 03-14-2001 12:41 AM
Strictly from my demented little mind, dear Lotus. I am so glad you enjoyed it.  ------------------
Lap it up...it's the best you'll ever get. |
Lotus666
ZooKeeper
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posted 03-14-2001 01:56 PM
I surely did, Kitty! |
Gypsy
Monkey
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posted 03-16-2001 06:55 AM
Uruly Demon Imp Minion hey and top of the list too WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT HONOUR Must say top marks to exile for his police impersonation ,true classic that was . Lotus did I not get Jordi de Man in here as promised ? ------------------
Gypsy...I'm now the Love e'm and Leave e'm kind, it's the only way to go !!! |
Rockjock
Monkey
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posted 03-16-2001 12:55 PM
Say, Gypsy, did he snap on the old rubber gloves? I personally love being a Demon Imp Minion. Sure does spice up the old resume. |
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