|
Author
|
Topic: Your Favorite children’s Jokes
|
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 12-25-2000 03:14 AM
   
Your Favorite children’s Jokes
For all the newbie re,re, boys and girls. Q: How do you catch a squirrel ?
A: Clime up a tree and act like a nut.
Ha, ha ho, ho …….Hmmmmm.
------------------
"Ignorance is not so bliss when you are on the receiving end." |
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 12-28-2000 08:49 AM
Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench and enjoying the afternoon sunshine, when along comes a man in a trenchcoat, looking suspicious. The ladies pointedly ignore him. He approaches the old ladies and opens his jacket to reveal a bit of the ol' full monty, and two of the old ladies have a stroke.
The third old lady can't reach as she is on the far end of the bench.Get it, they actually grabbed his dick as opposed to having a heart attack. Ha ha! Mmmm |
catapault007
Monkey
|
posted 12-28-2000 07:03 PM
Pretty lame when you have to explain the punch line.------------------
The world is a big place, So how the hell can you be in my way? |
froggyday
Chimp with diapers
|
posted 12-28-2000 08:20 PM
is that really a children s joke tostito? i mean i m sure you heard it in 5 th grade and all.... |
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 12-29-2000 03:00 AM
This one is for Christmas.Q- If an athlete gets athletes foot. What do astronauts get ?? A- Mistletoe.
|
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 12-29-2000 03:59 AM
Q- What’s gray and comes in quarts?
A- An elephant.
|
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 12-29-2000 05:04 AM
"Pretty lame when you have to explain the punch line."You are a very stupid person, that's about twenty times you've taken something literally when it was either sarcastic or you simply didn't get it. Fuck you. |
PixieChic
Monkey
|
posted 12-29-2000 06:20 AM
Shut up, bitch! Now go fix me a turkey pot pie.
(I edited because that 007 person had posted something above me, which he cowardly deleted. It was something to the effect of: "No, Tostito, FUCK YOU!", thus the Breakfast Club reference. Sorry for any confusion that his cowardice may have caused...)[This message has been edited by PixieChic (edited 01-02-2001).] |
Popeye
Monkey
|
posted 01-02-2001 02:19 AM
Two nuns bathing in a big tub. One turns to the other and says, "where's the soap".The other one replies "yes it does, doesn't it." |
FatJohnny
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-02-2001 06:08 AM
Q: What's big, red and eats rocks?A: A Big Red Rock Eater. 
|
Suicide
Chimp with diapers
|
posted 01-02-2001 04:00 PM
Har Har  |
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 01-03-2001 02:30 AM
Does anyone have a pic of Jim Carry laughing out of his ass. Cause that was funny. ------------------
"Ignorance is not so bliss when you are on the receiving end." |
precorpse
Monkey
|
posted 01-03-2001 11:50 AM
Does this topic include dead baby jokes? |
RoXaNe
Monkey
|
posted 01-03-2001 02:17 PM
Dead baby jokes ? I'd hardly call them jokes. |
precorpse
Monkey
|
posted 01-04-2001 12:01 AM
http://www.deathsucks.com/jokes/comments_deadbaby.html There are many views on this subject. Some of them are funny! Especially if you use the Dialectizer![This message has been edited by precorpse (edited 01-04-2001).] |
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 01-04-2001 05:18 AM
Dead baby jokes are cool but they can become redundant, so use them sparingly. |
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-04-2001 05:26 AM
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up a baby. |
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 01-04-2001 05:44 AM
Q: Why is Santa frustrated all the time.A: Because he only comes once a year.
|
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-04-2001 05:53 AM
Q: What would princess Diana do if she were alive today?
A: Scrabble frantically at the lid of her coffin.I hate children's jokes. |
FatJohnny
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-04-2001 06:18 AM
Q: If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?A: K9P |
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-04-2001 07:04 AM
Q: What does wife stand for?
A: Wash Iron Fuck Etc |
catapault007
Monkey
|
posted 01-06-2001 03:15 PM
[B]Shut up, bitch! Now go fix me a turkey pot pie.
(I edited because that 007 person had posted something above me, which he cowardly deleted. It was something to the effect of: "No, Tostito, FUCK YOU!", thus the Breakfast Club reference. Sorry for any confusion that his cowardice may have caused...)Wether I deleted a post or not is open to debate...but just suppose I did then it followed the nature of the thread and a childish joke was played on you... The only cowardice I see is you trying to save your ass from getting an onslaught from Tostito BTW that part about that 007 person was hilarious. ------------------
The world is a big place, So how the hell can you be in my way? |
PixieChic
Monkey
|
posted 01-06-2001 04:33 PM
quote:
The only cowardice I see is you trying to save your ass from getting onslaught from Tostito.
That's too funny. In case you haven't noticed, Tostito and I are friends, re-re. You see, my post made little sense after you turned chicken shit, which is why I felt the need to clarify. |
JimmyJoeBob
Chimp with diapers
|
posted 01-06-2001 05:02 PM
Q: How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a light-bulb?A: No one knows. Once you turn on the light they all scatter. |
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-07-2001 03:42 AM
Don't lie Pixie bitch, it's obvious you're just petrified of a Tostito onslaught.By the way I saw that 007 guy's 'debatable' post before it was deleted, I didn't say anything about it because I am bored with amatuer detective hour. |
PixieChic
Monkey
|
posted 01-07-2001 04:50 AM
Ok...I am sorry. I am a horrible liar. |
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-07-2001 07:44 AM
Sorry's not good enough, I'm not your friend anymore, Catapault is so much cooler. We're going bowling later and you're not even invited. |
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 01-07-2001 01:35 PM
 Tostito! Pixi! I’m out of the house for a couple of days and you’ve just destroyed it. Everything is a mess! I want apologies right now. Go to your rooms, and sleep under your bed until you know how to stick to the topic of the thread.As for you 007! It seems you started this mess. I'm calling your mommy. |
PixieChic
Monkey
|
posted 01-07-2001 11:49 PM
Fine, Tostito...you and the James Bond knock off go and bowl your little hearts out. Just don't forget your balls. |
FatJohnny
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-08-2001 06:42 AM
 |
manic_224
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-08-2001 01:28 PM
Pixie's funny. |
CLYNN KILLA
Chimp with diapers
|
posted 01-08-2001 07:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by manic_224:
Pixie's funny.
Umm... I tend to disagree there, babe... And no, I'm not afraid of an attack by the almighty Tostito. Please, Tostito, tear me to bits with the painful knife of your sarcasm if you so choose. Pixie just wasn't funny. That was an obvious joke, and a pretty old one. Not even a very sophisticated play on words. Not that I have anything against Pixie, it just wasn't funny.... Sorry if I'm offending you, but... C'mon, you can do better. I hope. |
catapault007
Monkey
|
posted 01-08-2001 07:43 PM
I laughed------------------
The world is a big place, So how the hell can you be in my way? |
PixieChic
Monkey
|
posted 01-08-2001 11:18 PM
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Some people's are just more significant than others. I made FJ smile...that made me happy...my work is done for the day...yada, yada, yada. |
Tostito
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-09-2001 01:33 AM
I laughed too. You're going to have to excuse me for the following speech though, I guess. The fooly just rubbed me the wrong way.I fucking hate newbies. The last weeks have instilled it again. For quite a while I didn't anymore, that's all there was to it, I didn't feel dislike. Just because someone is new doesn't automatically make them crappy, usually it's the same ratio of good people to crappy people you find anywhere on earth. Right?
NOT SO! I don't know why, but they're all cunts. It's just that simple.
So fuck you Clynn killa. Can't you taste how inane your dumb ass is, how completely out of place and absurd your mentality?
Who the fuck do you think you are, who do any of the newbies think they are? It's not because you're new, but the fact that you are for the most part rude as hell. You don't know anyone yet. Is it your idea of making friends? Great strategy. You should start a youth service, you could teach kids starting at new schools how to fit in by getting in fist fights with popular jocks. You all get so fucking lost in trying to make some sort of impression, and usually they're so sophomoric my teeth ache. -'Look at me, I am so fucking whacky. Never mind the fact I'm vapid and have nothing to offer, I can talk about cheese and all sorts of other zany stuff!' -'Wait one second! Tostito seems to get in a lot of arguments... now hold it, an idea is forming! If I were to start a fight with Tostito... thus proving how big my manhood is... I'd be up on everyone's shoulders!' -'Duh, I can flirt wid da people and dey will like me. Duuh, I dun wear underwear.' None of you want to take the time involved to either get to know people or let people get to know you. And the blind acceptance by unnamed friendly members does hurt this place in the long run. I am not an elitist, and I don't hate newbies as an internet version of 'hazing'. But I strongly believe, you teach a person of any age that it is okay to act a certain way that is generally unacceptable, they will act that way because they can get away with it. It's human nature. I do it here every day. Difference is, I earned it. Newbies should earn it too, or else how can they ever expect to enjoy there time here or be respected in any way? They don't have to grovel, I'd hate them even more for that. They don't have to beg or even care whether people like them. But if you fucks aren't here for social interaction of some kind, what ARE you here for? In closing, suck my big one, you dimestore hoods. |
Jogger
Monkey
|
posted 01-09-2001 02:13 AM
And the field of youths cry out and applaud vehemently. Q: How do you get a tissue to dance? A: Blow a little boogie into it.
------------------
"Ignorance is not so bliss when you are on the receiving end." |
FatJohnny
ZooKeeper
|
posted 01-09-2001 06:42 AM
Have I mentioned lately that Tostito is super-stud? |
Gypsy
Monkey
|
posted 01-09-2001 07:59 AM
an oldie but a goodie Jogger------------------
Gypsy...I'm a wanderer, yea, a wanderer...my hands roam around & round & round & round!!! |
precorpse
Monkey
|
posted 01-09-2001 11:10 AM
  |
CLYNN KILLA
Chimp with diapers
|
posted 01-09-2001 07:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Tostito:
You don't know anyone yet. Is it your idea of making friends? Great strategy. You should start a youth service, you could teach kids starting at new schools how to fit in by getting in fist fights with popular jocks.
I don't really give a fuck about making friends with you, first of all. Secondly, I merely offered my opinion. I also said that I didn't mean to offend anyone. Apparently you missed that. And I'm a pascifist. I don't do fights.
quote:
You all get so fucking lost in trying to make some sort of impression, and usually they're so sophomoric my teeth ache.
I'm really not trying to make some kind of impression on you. If you want to hate me, please do. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! If you don't hate me, fine, we're cool.
quote:
-'Look at me, I am so fucking whacky. Never mind the fact I'm vapid and have nothing to offer, I can talk about cheese and all sorts of other zany stuff!'
I don't care to talk about cheese... And I loathe being described as whacky. Thats really not at all what I'm like, and I'm really sorry that I gave you that impression. It was not my intention to offend you or insult you in any way. Nor was it my intention to make you think that I'm cool or whatever. Thats not my style, man... I just say what I think, if you have a problem, deal. quote:
-'Wait one second! Tostito seems to get in a lot of arguments... now hold it, an idea is forming! If I were to start a fight with Tostito... thus proving how big my manhood is... I'd be up on everyone's shoulders!'
I don't want to fight with you. And being as I'm not a man, I feel no need to prove my manhood to anyone. quote:
None of you want to take the time involved to either get to know people or let people get to know you.
I would love to get to know you. And if you want to get to know me, thats cool too... But it seems to me that based on one post that I made (and I admit that I sounded much ruder than I had intended) you want to lump me in to a category with a bunch of people I've never spoken too... And I really think that if you did get to know me you wouldn't put me in that category. Lastly... Pixie, I'm really sorry. I know, I was really rude and you didn't deserve it... Actually, what you said was pretty funny... Not that it excuses what I said, but I was under a lot of stress... Once again, I'm really sorry. [This message has been edited by CLYNN KILLA (edited 01-09-2001).] |
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
The WWYK? Discussion Board
